What My Grandmother’s Apartment Taught Me About Housing, Change, and Why Density Matters
WRITTEN BY JENN GOLDSON, AICP
I was about five years old when I first started to understand the importance of where—and how—you live.
Back then, my mom and I lived above a leather shop on Main Street in Ridgewood, New Jersey. We shared a small apartment with my grandmother, and my aunt lived in the unit just below us. It wasn’t fancy. It wasn’t big. But it was home.
The building itself was what planners today might label "mixed-use" or "top-of-shop housing." It had two modest apartments tucked above retail space, surrounded by the bustling heart of a walkable, well-resourced town.
At the time, I didn’t know anything about zoning codes, density, or public policy. I just knew that I had family close by. That my grandmother helped watch me while my mom worked long shifts. That we could walk to the library, the park, and school. That our apartment—small as it was—kept us rooted in a community with good schools and opportunity, even when money was tight.
What I didn’t realize then was how rare and precarious that kind of housing had become.
The Day the Rent Went Up
After seven years of living in that apartment, the landlord raised the rent—sharply. My mom, grandmother, and aunt couldn’t stretch their incomes enough to keep up. So we had to leave.
It was the first of several moves, each dictated by the same forces: affordability, availability, and inflexible housing policies that offered few options for families like ours.
Each move disrupted us—financially, emotionally, socially. Each time, it became harder to stay in a well-resourced community.
What I experienced as a child—this delicate balancing act between place, family, and economics—shaped the lens through which I view housing today. Because housing is never just about four walls. It’s about what that housing connects you to: opportunity, stability, belonging.
And too often, the very policies designed to "protect" communities end up shutting people out.
What Density Really Means
Say the word "density," and you’ll often see shoulders stiffen in a public meeting. People picture towering apartment complexes, traffic jams, maybe even fears about property values.
But density isn’t a skyscraper in every backyard. Density, when done well, is about restoring flexibility to our communities—the same flexibility that once made it possible for my multigenerational family to live above a leather shop in Ridgewood.
Density means smaller homes, duplexes, ADUs, triple-deckers, courtyard apartments, live-work units—the types of housing that used to be commonplace before zoning codes froze them out.
When we resist density, we’re not just resisting buildings. We’re resisting people—teachers, health aides, service workers, seniors, young families—who need a place to live.
A Planner’s Wake-Up Call
One of my biggest wake-up moments as a young planner came when I worked for a mid-sized New England town. We were updating their housing plan, and during one of the early meetings, a resident stood up and declared:
"We don’t need more housing. Our town is built out."
Built out.
At first, I wasn’t sure how to respond. But as we started digging deeper, it became clear what "built out" really meant.
It wasn’t about infrastructure—this town had sewer, water, transit, and a walkable downtown. It wasn’t about land scarcity—there were plenty of underutilized lots, empty storefronts, oversized single-family parcels.
It was about mindset. Fear of change. Fear of new neighbors. Fear of density.
That experience solidified something for me: Planning isn’t just about maps and bylaws. It’s about navigating fear, power, and deeply held assumptions. It’s about building trust and showing people that thoughtful growth doesn’t mean losing the heart of a place—it means strengthening it.
Planning for People
At JM Goldson, this belief is at the core of everything we do—whether we’re working on a housing plan, a housing trust action plan, zoning for housing production, or leading a community engagement process for a proposed development or zoning amendment.
Every project starts with the same question: How do we create housing solutions that reflect the needs of real people, in real communities, facing real challenges?
It’s why we emphasize:
Infill and reuse over sprawl
Community-driven solutions that reflect local values
Inclusive engagement processes that amplify underrepresented voices
Clear, actionable plans—grounded in both policy and possibility
We don’t approach planning as an abstract exercise. For us, it’s deeply personal. Because we’ve lived the consequences of rigid, exclusionary housing systems. We’ve seen how lack of flexibility drives displacement, economic segregation, and environmental harm.
What Happens When We Say Yes
When communities embrace density—not haphazardly, but intentionally—they unlock more than just housing units.
They create:
Homes that allow teachers to live near the schools where they work
Options for seniors to downsize without leaving the community they helped build
Neighborhoods where service workers, nurses, and small business owners can belong
Walkable, vibrant downtowns supported by enough residents to sustain local shops and services
Environmental benefits through reduced sprawl, car dependency, and infrastructure strain
The key isn’t whether to grow—it’s how we grow. And for most communities, the space for that growth is already there. In our town centers, in underused lots, in outdated zoning that prioritizes lot size over livability.
Back to Main Street
I often think back to that apartment above the leather shop. To the sense of stability it gave me as a child. To the opportunities it opened up simply because it existed in a walkable, well-resourced community.
I wonder: If Ridgewood had adopted exclusionary zoning back when our apartment was built—allowing large lots, single-family homes only—where would my mom and I have ended up?
It’s easy to view housing policy as technical, distant, something best left to experts. But in reality, it’s deeply personal. It shapes who gets to stay, who has to leave, and who never gets a chance to call a community home.
That’s why I’m in the process of writing a book—a blend of memoir and manifesto—about how embracing density, when done thoughtfully, creates more equitable, sustainable, and connected communities. And it’s why, every day at JM Goldson, we help towns and cities rethink their approach to housing—not as something to fear, but as an opportunity to build places that truly work for everyone.
Because density isn’t just about numbers. It’s about people. It's about belonging.
Can You Help Me Out?
As I continue writing, I’m looking to highlight well-designed examples of how communities have introduced density—either through new construction or adaptive reuse—in ways that feel thoughtful, respectful, and integrated into existing neighborhoods.
Have you seen a great example? A project that added housing while strengthening what makes the place special? Maybe a favorite infill development, a creative reuse of an older building, or a gentle density project that blends seamlessly into its surroundings?
I’d love to hear about it. Send me an email at jennifer[AT]JMGoldson.com or send me a DM on LinkedIn—your example might just make it into the book.
Let’s keep sharing ideas and showing that good design and smart density can go hand in hand.
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